"Acton Furniture Pervert Fiddled With Shrubs" – Court Told

Coconut and Furniture pervert, Terry Skuttle, was dragged back to Acton Magistrates Court yesterday to face new charges of fiddling with garden shrubs.Traumatised Vice Squad officers told the court how Skuttle broke into a back garden in Rosamund Road and was seen 'meddling' with a terrified 'Hibiscus Syriacus Diana' in full bloom."he had his filthy hands round her petals," explained DCI Ted Bilton of Acton police. "If we'd got there a minute later God alone knows what he'd have done to that poor little Hibiscus."another officer told how fiend Skuttle was seen molesting a seven year old 'Camellia Japonica Baby Doll' again in full bloom. "Skuttle struck in broad daylight," accused Det Sgt Albert Lubbock. "he climbed a fence in Pomeroy Street and went straight for the isolated Camellia. Fortunately Vice Squad officers were close to the scene and dragged him out feet-first before he managed to do something far more serious."Speaking on behalf of Skuttle, consultant psychiatrist Dr Marjorie Groper said that her client had a chequered history of botanical disorder. "He's done furniture and coconuts. Now he's after shrubs. We're at a loss to guess where he might strike next," she sighed.Appearing for the Crown, another doctor told how a nameless Skuttle victim hasn't spoken a word since an attack in 2008. "It was a young 'Viburnum Burwoodii', revealed Dr Hector Boone of Willesden General Hospital. "Skuttle did unspeakable things to it that dark January night."Prosecuting Council Mervyn Stoat QC told Magistrates that Skuttle was being kept in solitary at HM prison Wormwood Scrubs. "It's for his own safety," explained Mr Stoat. Passing sentence, Acton Magistrate Dame Dora Cattermole, herself a keen gardener, described Skuttle as the foulest, most despicable shrub-fiend she'd ever come across in her 30 year career on the bench.Terrance Arthur Skuttle, you are an uncontrollable menace to antique furniture, coconuts and now garden shrubs," she barked."you shall go to prison for a further six months."